Why Are Adults Having Less Sex Than Ever? What It Might Mean for Relationships & Mental Health
A recent analysis by the Institute for Family Studies reveals a striking trend: sexual frequency among U.S. adults is at a historical low — and Gen Z (ages 18–29) is seeing the steepest decline.
At Pinnacle Counseling, we see sexual intimacy as one of many barometers of relationship health, emotional connection, and well‑being. This shift is worth unpacking — not with judgment, but with curiosity and compassion.
The Numbers: A Steep Slide
Some key findings from the IFS analysis (based on 2024 General Social Survey data):
In 1990, 55% of U.S. adults (ages 18–64) reported having sex at least once in the prior week. Today, that number is 37%.
Among young adults (18–29), sexual frequency has dropped particularly sharply.
Cohabitation rates have declined: in 2014, about 42% of young adults lived with a partner; by 2024, that number fell to 32%.
“Social time” — hours spent in social settings — has collapsed. From 12.8 hours/week in 2010, to about 6.5 hours by 2019, and just over 5 hours by 2024.
Put simply: fewer couples living together, less casual social connection, and fewer opportunities for intimacy.
What Might Be Driving the Decline?
While the data alone can’t pinpoint cause and effect, several contributing factors are worth considering — especially from the perspective of relational and mental health:
Reduced physical proximity and cohabitation
If fewer young adults are living with partners, there’s less daily opportunity for intimacy. Without shared household structure, partners may drift into asynchronous rhythms (work, sleep, life) that reduce spontaneous connection.
Less socializing & fewer chances to meet organically
The compression of “social time” is telling. More time spent online, working, or in solitary activities may reduce face-to-face encounters that spark attraction, flirtation, and later, emotional intimacy.
Stress, mental health, and emotional barriers
Anxiety, depression, burnout, and emotional fatigue can dampen libido and motivation to engage in sexual or romantic activity. These are rising among younger adults. (From a counseling lens, emotional health and sexual desire are deeply intertwined.)
Changing attitudes, norms, and values
The meaning of sex, relationships, and connection are evolving. Some may deprioritize sexual intimacy, reject traditional timelines, or feel pressure to “perform” rather than connect authentically.
Technology, media, and mismatch in expectations
Dating apps, media portrayals of sex, and online culture may create idealized expectations that real life struggles to match — leading to disillusionment, withdrawal, or avoidance.
Why This Matters for Couples, Individuals & Therapists
This trend isn’t just “interesting data” — it has implications for relational health, self‑esteem, and well‑being.
Emotional distance can creep in
Over time, consistently low physical intimacy can erode feelings of closeness, leaving partners feeling disconnected, unwanted, or misunderstood.
Unspoken conflict and blame
Many couples may not voice their frustrations or worries. One partner may feel rejected; the other may feel pressured. Without safe spaces to talk, silent distance widens.
Self‑worth and shame
Individuals may internalize low sexual frequency as a reflection of their desirability or worth — fueling shame, avoidance, or further emotional withdrawal.
Missed opportunity for healing and support
Counseling and therapy can help couples and individuals explore obstacles (emotional, physical, cultural) to intimacy, reconstruct realistic expectations, and build deeper connection.
From Pinnacle Counseling: What We Recommend
If you or your partner are concerned about declining sexual connection, here are some pathways to consider:
Open, compassionate dialogue
Start the conversation without blame. Use “I feel” statements. Explore what’s changed, what’s felt hard, what each of you long for.
Prioritize time together (without pressure for sex)
Reintroduce rituals — date nights, walks, low‑stakes physical touch (holding hands, cuddling). Intentional connection can reignite desire.
Explore barriers (emotional, physical, relational)
Together (or with a counselor) unpack stress, body image issues, mental health struggles, past trauma, hormonal concerns — any of which may dampen sexual drive.
Set realistic expectations & recalibrate norms
Let go of “shoulds.” Work toward intimacy that feels nourishing for both — it may not match media fantasy, and that’s okay.
Reach out for therapy or counseling support
Sex therapists, couples counselors, or relational therapists can help you restore communication, intimacy, and mutual understanding.
Final Thoughts
The decline in sexual frequency — especially among Gen Z — points to deeper shifts in how we socialize, cohabit, and connect. It’s not necessarily a moral failing — it’s a symptom of broader relational, emotional, and cultural shifts.
At Pinnacle Counseling, we see this as an invitation: to lean into the delicate work of connection, curiosity, and healing. If sexual intimacy is fading in your relationship — whether gradually or suddenly — it doesn’t have to stay that way. With compassionate communication and guidance, couples and individuals can reclaim meaningful connection.
If this resonates and you’d like help navigating these questions in your relationship, we’d be glad to support that journey. Contact us today.