Are You a Planner or a Go-With-the-Flow Person? Why It Matters for Your Relationships

A recent New York Times article explored something called time personalities—the idea that each of us has a natural way of moving through time. Understanding yours (and your partner’s) can be a game-changer in relationships.

Two Main Time Personalities 

• Monochronic: You prefer schedules, doing one task at a time, and keeping things orderly.

• Polychronic: You’re comfortable juggling multiple things at once, and you tend to prioritize relationships and flexibility over strict timing.

Most people fall somewhere in between—but even small differences in time style can cause misunderstandings.

Why It Matters in Relationships

If one partner likes to stick to a plan and the other thrives on spontaneity, it’s easy to slip into frustration or judgment. Recognizing these differences for what they are—preferences, not flaws—can help turn conflict into understanding.

When to Talk to Your Therapist About It

 If time differences are creating tension, a therapist can help you:

• Understand how your time style connects to deeper needs (like feeling secure, respected, or connected).

• Find compromises that work for both styles.

• Develop communication tools that prevent resentment.

At Pinnacle Counseling, we often see that naming these patterns is the first step to working with them—rather than against them.

Final Thought:

Your time personality isn’t something to “fix”—it’s part of how you’re wired. But knowing how it interacts with your partner’s can make life smoother, less stressful, and a lot more connected.