Enough With the Mom Guilt Already
A Refreshing Perspective (And What We Do a Bit Differently)
We recently read The Atlantic’s thoughtful essay, “Enough With the Mom Guilt Already”, and found ourselves nodding along—especially at the point that modern parenting advice, even when well‑meaning, often places an unrealistic burden on mothers. It suggests that every moment somehow defines a child’s future—a pressure cooker of guilt that can leave parents emotionally exhausted .
What resonates with us:
The idea that therapy culture and social media can turn well‑intentioned advice into an endless loop of self‑criticism.
The reminder that mothers should not be solely responsible for their children’s emotional outcomes—there are many systems at play, not just parenting choices .
That said, as systemic therapists, we bring an extra lens to the conversation.
Our Systemic Approach
We don’t view development or family challenges as neat cause-and-effect chains. Instead:
Multiple Relationships Matter. A parent-child bond is deeply meaningful—but it’s not the whole story. Siblings, peers, school, broader family, community dynamics—all influence a child’s world.
Mistakes Are Normal—and Healthy. We don’t chase perfection—in fact, that chase can be harmful. We guide parents to own their missteps and model repair, resilience, and self-compassion for their children.
Putting Guilt in Perspective. Parenting advice that implies everything you do is pivotal can fuel anxiety. Instead, we invite parents to breathe, notice the systems—cultural, policy, economic—that shape parenting pressures, and gently challenge unfair expectations.
Why This Matters for You (Our Reader)
Less shame, more peace: You’re not failing if you don’t have the perfect response. Sometimes showing up, apologizing when needed, repairing in a moment—that’s powerful parenting.
Every relationship counts: Your child isn’t formed by you alone. That’s not an excuse—it’s a reminder that healing, connection, growth come from broad networks of support.
Lasting lessons, not fleeting fixes: When kids see their parents handle mistakes with kindness and responsibility, they learn far more than any “expert tip” could teach them.
We stand alongside The Atlantic in pushing back against toxic perfectionism—but we add our own twist: families are ecosystems, not straight lines. Mistakes aren’t the end of the world—they’re opportunities to connect, learn, and grow, together.